just breathe

Took the dog for a walk tonight. It was a beautiful, less humid night in my little subdivision. I borrowed Val’s big white headphones and turned on the Lyle Lovett radio station on Spotify.

(I have loved Lyle Lovett since college. I’ve seen him in concert a bunch of times.I named my first cat after him. I got the chance to meet him in Chicago and he signed my CD while I fan-girled out. My friend Tracy got to watch that happen.)

Here’s my dog sniffing the washed-out park. We’ve had a lot of rain.


My attempt at an artistic shot of Sherwood Oaks Park and the flood.

As I was saying, his music affects me, in mostly good ways. So, the radio station played some other artists like Steve Earle, John Prine, Emmylou Harris, and Willie Nelson. I was feeling pretty good tonight, mentally speaking. The new dose of depression meds are kicking in and I have energy and hope again.

For those of you who have never dealt with the beast that is clinical depression, you might not understand how important that last sentence was. I’m in a much better place than I was during the first part of 2016.

I didn’t realize just how relieved I am to be feeling better until I heard the Willie Nelson version of the Pearl Jam song “Just Breathe.”

I’m walking my dog in the deserted, flooded park. The clouds are magnificent, pink and white with dusk settling in. My dog is milling around, sniffing mulch, running in the ginormous puddles…and then that song comes on.

And I’m staring at the clouds with tears streaming down my face, so happy that I’m still around.

Practiced on our sins
Never gonna let me win, uh huh
Under everything
Just another human being, uh huh

Yeah, I don’t want to hurt
There’s so much in this world
To make me bleed

Stay with me
You’re all I see

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh if I didn’t, I’m a fool you see
No one knows this more than me
As I come clean

15 thoughts on “just breathe

  1. Ceci….love your post. I also love, love Lyle. I too have suffered from depression and can understand that feeling when the clouds break and the sun peeks through. Thanks for talking about it! You are an awesome woman!

  2. As someone who’s been there, I get it. Completely.

    I’m glad you’re still around, too. Our paths may only cross rarely in real life, but I’m glad for those rare times they do.

  3. I love this! I play Willie’s version at the end of some of my yoga classes. There is something about his voice. You listen. You hear. You most definitely feel. I’m so glad to hear you are feeling better, could see and feel the beauty and just breathe. Sometimes those are the biggest struggles.

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